5 word challenge... The whey to my heart...

How it works: Write an entry of any length or style using five assigned words. Bold the five words. Tag your post with 5wordchallenge and any other tags you wish to add.

This week's challenge words: carpet, jury, pasta, shapeless, whey

------------------------

Sitting cross legged on the floor of my children's room, feeling the synthetic material of the carpet irritate my legs, we sorted through books trying to decide which one would be best for our bedtime storytelling. 

How about some nursery rhymes kiddos?

What are nursing rhymes mommy?, asked Nate

Rhymes that are told to little kids for them to learn from and memorize.  I still remember my favorite one when I was a little girl.  (and it's NURSE-RY... not nursing). 

Ooooo what is it?  Tell us mom!, exlaimed Jenna bouncing up and down on the floor next to me.

Well, let's see if I can remember it, said I, as I rolled my eyes to the ceiling in an attempt to see right into my brain and dig out the dusty old rhyme I haven't recited in nearly 20 years. 

Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet...

What's a tuffet? asked Jenna

A little cushion you sit on, I replied

Like a pillow?

Yes, just like a pillow... but pillow doesn't rhyme with 'Muffet'... so that wouldn't work.

Oh.

May I continue?

Sure.

Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet eating her curds and whey...

Whey?  What the HECK is that? Jenna asked incrediously as Nate giggled and rolled on to his back on the floor.

It's some kind of porridge I think.  But wondering to myself what it was...

Like Goldie Locks and the Three Bears porridge?

Yes, exactly like that.

What's porridge?  Is it pasta?

Sigh.  It's kinda like oatmeal or grits or something.  I am not entirely sure... I've have never had any.

Oh.

May I continue?

Yes.

Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet, eating her curds and whey.  Up came a spider and sat down beside her...

A spider?  Mommy, spiders can't SIT.  They don't have BOTTOMS.  They are all legs.

Sigh.  You are absolutely right Jenna.  I'll be sure to pen a firmly worded letter to the author and explain the lack of logical writing his nursery rhyme has.  Maybe I should turn him into the authorities for a lack of clarity in his writing?  Would you like to be on the jury that condems him for his lack-luster rhyming?  May.  I.  Continue.  ?? !!! 

Um, sure, but I think this is a stupid nursing rhyme mom.

Bedtime story time is becoming quite annoying to me at this point... my bed, grown-up book and glass of wine are calling to me... I just want to get this done with and go get some rest myself.  These kids don't seem ready to let me though. 

Like I was saying.... Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet eating her curds and whey.  Along came a spider, sat down beside her and frightened Miss Muffet away.

I got through it!  Thank. You.  God.  I could feel my glass of wine in my hand and the soft mattress beneath me already... not much longer now.  Pleased with myself... I looked at both of my children with a smile on my face, proud that I still remembered all of it.

They looked at me with an expression of confusion and boredom.  That's it?

Okay... okay... so it was really only my favorite NURSERY rhyme because of the beautiful illustration in the book I had growing up.  Miss Muffet was very pretty and wore a gorgeous fluffly dress as she sat on her big red satin pillow.  I guess it was more the drawing that I liked.

Where is the drawing in that book,?,  Jenna asked as she pointed to the nursery book in my hands.

I looked down and flipped to the table of contents, found the rhyme.  Jenna and Nate scooted closer to me to peak over my shoulder at the twenty-first centery version of the poem.  A lack-luster illustration stared back at us.  Sitting there in a shapeless dress on a flat little pillow was our modern version of Miss Muffet.  Muted tones of yellow and green.  It reminded somewhat of what you find on the inside of a baby's diaper... not something to spark imagination and wonder.   

She has yellow hair.  I like yellow hair mommy, said Nate

That's about the only thing she has going for her, I thought.  Looking at Jenna, I could clearly see her disappointment. 

She certainly isn't as attractive as the little Miss Muffet in my book.

No kidding!  said Jenna with a giggle.  She needs a makeover!

I chuckled at the though of Miss Muffet in the chair at our local salon and said, Okay time for bed monkeys, as they climbed into my lap and on my back giggling.  I could feel their energy levels rising, ready for some tumbling on the floor.

WHAT?!  NO!  WE WANT OUR BEDTIME STORY!

We aren't tired yet!!

Sigh.  That glass of wine was getting further away by the moment.  The carpet was leaving embossments on my legs. 

What do you think we just spent the last half hour doing?

Listening to your stupid nursing rhyme, grimaced Jenna.

Yeah, it was 'tupid mommy.  We read 'piderman 'tory intead?  Nate asked as he batted his long eyelashes at me and smiled sweetly.

NO!  The Princess and the Pea Mommy!!  exclaimed Jenna

Sigh.  So much for wine, book and bed.

Okay get up in bed and hunker down... I'll read both.  Give me a kiss first.

Happy giggles are better than wine anyways.

--------------

This story was based on actual events.  Do not attempt this at home.  Trust me, your children will think you are lame too.